Nerdy Limericks

Oh, home on the range,
on the range, we go strange, and deranged,
but for sex we got steer,
that's why we don't go queer,
cattle stray, so we get it that way.

Mary had a little sheep
With the sheep, she did sleep
The sheep turned out to be a ram
Mary had a little lamb.

There was a programmer named Lee
Whose wife (Ruby) drank Java, not tea
But one day, by surprise
Pythons bit out his eyes
And to this day he still cannot C.

There once was a nympho named Myers,
Who lit too many sexual fires.
So he made himself flaccid
By doing some acid
To neutralize his base desires

I thought D&D would be fun
But after today, I'm done
For the dice, I weighted
But I rolled then fainted
After I saw a critical 1...

There once was a law student named Rex
With diminutive organs of sex.
When charged with exposure,
He said with composure
"De minimis non curat lex"

Just why is there mass they do cry?
As we know our Collider won't lie,
It is the Higg's boson
That we have chosen
To answer that question or die!

There once was a man names Rasputin,
Who gave his own horn a tootin',
He advised the Tsar,
Didn't get too far,
And then was given a bootin'/

There is something about satyriasis
That arouses psychiatrists' biases.
But we're both very pleased
we're this way diseased,
as the damsel who's waiting to try us is.

What I'd love is a wormhole in space
in a very particular place.
I'd try to contrive it
so one end's at my privates
and the other's attached to my face.