Nerdy Limericks

Just why is there mass they do cry?
As we know our Collider won't lie,
It is the Higg's boson
That we have chosen
To answer that question or die!

There once was a man names Rasputin,
Who gave his own horn a tootin',
He advised the Tsar,
Didn't get too far,
And then was given a bootin'/

There is something about satyriasis
That arouses psychiatrists' biases.
But we're both very pleased
we're this way diseased,
as the damsel who's waiting to try us is.

What I'd love is a wormhole in space
in a very particular place.
I'd try to contrive it
so one end's at my privates
and the other's attached to my face.

There was a young woman named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She set out one day
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.

There once was a man named Vegeta
Who thought he was quite a bit leeter.
Yet nine thou on the gauge
left him maddened with rage,
and he went and destroyed his own meter.

A woman in liquor production
Owns a still of exquisite construction.
The alcohol boils
Through magnetic coils.
She says that it's "proof by induction."

A burleycue dancer, a pip
named Virginia, could peel in a zip.
But she read science fiction
and died of constriction
attempting a Moebius strip.

There was a young man from Trinity
Who solved the square root of inifinity.
While counting the digits
He was seized with the fidgets,
Dropped science, and took up divinity.

There was a young fencer named Fisk
Whose swordplay was agile and brisk.
So fast was his action,
The Lorentz contraction
Diminished his sword to a disk.