General Limericks

A silly young fellow named Hyde,
In a funeral procession was spied ;
When asked, " Who is dead?"
He giggled and said,
I don't know ; I just came for the ride."

There was an old lady of Brooking,
Who had a great genius for cooking ;
She could bake sixty pies
All of quite the same size,
And tell which was which without looking.

There was a young lady of Lynn,
Who was so excessively thin,
That when she essayed
To drink lemonade
She slipped through the straw and fell in.

A young man on the journey had met her,
And he tried just his hardest to get her;
He knelt at her feet,
Said, "I'll die for you, sweet,"
And she cruelly told him he'd better.

There once was a lady from Trent
Whose nose was most horribly bent
One day I suppose
She followed her nose
And nobody knows where she went

There once was a maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass.
Not rounded and pink,
as you'd possibly think;
It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.

There was a young chap from out yonder,
Who buggered a big anaconda,
He regretted this crime,
For the rest of his time,
While the reptile grew fonder and fonder.

there was a girl called kate
she always blew her nose too late
one day in class
a boy made a pass
and gave her a hanky on the date

When a limerick, cranial or trite,
Becomes bourgeoisie or erudite,
With intrepid display
you should dauntlessly say,
"Hey, that's just the shit that I write."

Ethnologists studying the Sioux
Wired home for two punts one canoe
The answer next day
Said, "Girls on the way
But what the hell's a panoe?"