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    General Limericks

    General Limericks are fun and care free, share them with others or just leave them be. These great limericks are classified as PG-13, while not as nasty as the dirty ones these guys sometimes pack a punch. These are the ones you share with your coworkers while still at work. You can submit your own limericks by clicking in the "Add a Limerick" button in the navigation to the left. Limercks are displayed by the most popular ones first, so make sure to Vote Up your favorites!

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    The ships first mate was named Carter
    Oh but he was a farter
    When the wind wouldn't blow
    And the ship wouldn"t go
    It took Carter the farter to start Her
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There once was an old man from Brewster
    who said to his wife, as he goosed her
    "This used to be grand
    but now look at my hand
    you aint wipin' as clean as you used ter"
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There once was a maid from Madras
    Who had a magnificent ass -
    Not rounded and pink,
    As you probably think,
    But was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    If you catch a Chinchilla in Chile
    And cut off its beard, willy-nilly
    You can honestly say
    That you have just made
    A Chilean Chinchilla's chin chilly
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    On the chest of a barmaid at Yale
    were tattooed the prices of ale,
    and on her behind,
    for the sake of the blind,
    was the same information in Braille.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    A cat, in despondency, sighed,
    And decided to commit suicide.
    She passed under the wheels,
    of eight automobiles,
    'twas under the ninth that she died.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There once was an old man of Esser,
    Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
    It at last grew so small
    He knew nothing at all,
    And now he's a college professor.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    There once was a girl, Miley Cyrus
    who used her tongue to inspire us
    I don't get her plans
    said her critics and her fans
    but I hope she dosen't desire us
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    there was a young man
    his name was cameran
    he bounced round the school
    breaking all the rules
    and now he is being kicked in the can
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


    A wonderful bird is the pelican,
    His bill will hold more than his belican.
    He can take in his beak
    Food enough for a week,
    but I'm damned if I see how the helican.
    Vote This Limerick Up! -->


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