Dirty Limericks

There once was a woman from Venus
Whose body was shaped like a penis
She met a gay pair
Who said with a flair,
"I imagine she might come between us."

I once knew a man, made me frantic!
His member was super gigantic
He gave it a flip
(it was named for the ship)
"would you like to go down on Titanic?"

There once was a woman named dot
who lived on pig shit and snot
when she couldn't get these
she'd eat the cream cheese
that she scraped from the sides of her twat

A sexy young maiden named Jill
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil

A luscious psychotic named Jane,
Once sucked every man on a train.
Said she, "Please don't panic,
I'm just nymphomanic,
This wouldn't be fun were I sane."

On the breast of a whore named Gail,
Was tattooed the price of her tail.
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille.

There once was a Minister's daughter
who hated the pony he'd bought her,
'til she found that it's dong
was as hard and as long
as the prayers that her father had taught her.

There was a young girl from Cape Cod,
Who thought babies came only from God,
But, t'wasn't the Almighty,
Who lifted her nightie.
T'was Roger the lodger, the sod!

A certain young fellow from Ransome
Had a dame seven times in a hansom.
When she shouted for more,
Said he from the floor,
The name, miss, is Simpson, not Samson.

A guy with his girl in a Fiat
Said, "Where on earth is my key at?"
As he started to seek,
She let out a shriek,
"THAT'S not where it's likely to be at!"